So I got a call today from a friend of a friend asking if I was free to be a double for some French movie being filmed in the nearby "jungle." Although my build, height, hair color and ability to drive a stick were enough, the hair on the sides of my head was a bit too short. The shooting conflicted with my 2 hr/week overpaid job (which hasn't paid me yet for last month actually) so I wouldn't have done it anyways. Oh well. I am still on the list for Rambo IV and they have kept in contact with me and the guy I met today is working on it too.
I got this strange job offer the other day. Some friend of the gym-girl called me the other day and asked me to translate to either English or Korean something she was trying to ask some Korean guy. So she hands the phone to the Korean guy and it turns out to be my friend Jun, who I consider to be my Korean counterpart as we share a number of anxiety-related afflictions. Anyways, this girl eventually passed on the idea of Jun and asked if I was interested in being an interpreter for some Korean person for 3 weeks while they study Thai massage. It would have me interpreting from Thai to Korean I think. My Korean is decent considering I haven't even been studying a year yet, but I'm not sure if I even have the vocab to be able to do well at this. However, the money they offered was rather tempting and the girl actually said if it wasn't enough to counteroffer at my leisure. So I mentioned it to my Korean teacher and asked if she would be interested in doing it together. It would be about 3 hr/day for 3 weeks M-F. Hopefully, she is up for it as it could work out for me as Korean lessons where I get paid (I offered to split it with her 50/50).
In the world of exercise, things are going pretty well. I somehow managed to put up 80kg the other day. I usually go to the gym Sun-Fri and I play badminton for 1-2 hrs every M/W/F night. I have trouble breathing all the time whenever I due anything that raises my heart rate which is annoying when I have to stop to cough up goo or just that I can't play hard not because my body can't handle it, but because I can't breathe. It sucks. I had problems like this my whole life, but when I was young and I ran the pain was different and there was no goo. That changed after smoking for 7 yrs. Gnilb indeed.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Friday, March 09, 2007
Life
I'm ok. Perhaps better than that, but I'm not sure. I have been feeling a bit empty lately. Devoid of emotion, but always on the brink of something heavy. As I previously mentioned, I broke up with Ann on Valentine's Day. As false as it may sound I did it more for her than for me. As hard as she tried, she couldn't put up with my faults. She wasn't perfect either, but she tried harder than I ever could. I just don't know how to have a serious relationship with a girl. Its kind of ironic; if I care/like someone too much, I will inevitably drive them away one way or another, however, if I like them on some lesser, but saner-level, the relationship tends to work. There has only been 1.5-2 times in my life when I pursued and got what I really 'wanted.' While those relationships worked for a while, they didn't last. I miss Ann, but I suppose I miss every person I cared about. It doesn't pass, rather it stays with you and usually becomes weaker over time.
I think I am probably done with the punk girl, she is nice enough, but she has annoyed me a few times and I'm leaning towards the 'friend is better' path with her.
Meanwhile, the gym girl is currently in a car on her way home. She is back together with the old boyfriend and they are going back to their hometown to resume their previous life because her mom was lonely. I really dug her for a while. She is a cool girl and her boyfriend is nice enough but she deserves better. Much better than me as well I suppose, but I can still like her, right?
On happier notes, 2 nights ago the gym girl sent me an sms saying she was at this club if I wanted to go. So I went there to discover it was her the ex-nonex? boyfriend and another guy. So I mainly talked to her and drank their whiskey than when it closed at midnight, I went with the other guy to a late-night spot assuming the gym-girl and bf were coming. We got there and were not there long before I attacked a table full of girls. I got a # from the best one and then I went home to sleep. I waited a day before calling her tonight. She was pleasantly surprised and she remembered me the first time I said my name. This is probably the first time such a thing has happened in my life in Thailand. I always have to explain the situation for them to realize who I am. Anyways, this girl is in the middle of finals, but she is certainly interested and she seems cool so far. We'll see what happens. More on this later.
I would write more often but this blogserver is awful. I can't log into it most of the time so I can't get in to write when I have things to say.
I think I am probably done with the punk girl, she is nice enough, but she has annoyed me a few times and I'm leaning towards the 'friend is better' path with her.
Meanwhile, the gym girl is currently in a car on her way home. She is back together with the old boyfriend and they are going back to their hometown to resume their previous life because her mom was lonely. I really dug her for a while. She is a cool girl and her boyfriend is nice enough but she deserves better. Much better than me as well I suppose, but I can still like her, right?
On happier notes, 2 nights ago the gym girl sent me an sms saying she was at this club if I wanted to go. So I went there to discover it was her the ex-nonex? boyfriend and another guy. So I mainly talked to her and drank their whiskey than when it closed at midnight, I went with the other guy to a late-night spot assuming the gym-girl and bf were coming. We got there and were not there long before I attacked a table full of girls. I got a # from the best one and then I went home to sleep. I waited a day before calling her tonight. She was pleasantly surprised and she remembered me the first time I said my name. This is probably the first time such a thing has happened in my life in Thailand. I always have to explain the situation for them to realize who I am. Anyways, this girl is in the middle of finals, but she is certainly interested and she seems cool so far. We'll see what happens. More on this later.
I would write more often but this blogserver is awful. I can't log into it most of the time so I can't get in to write when I have things to say.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
mus-kles
I broke up with Ann on Valentine's day. Since then I have mostly hung out with the punk girl, but I still find myself missing Ann quite a bit. I've been dreaming about her quite often and it can be a bit stressful. I don't feel depressed or anything, I am just bored. With my current schedule I am finding myself with far fewer friends than before. It feels strange, but I seem to be ok.
I play badminton 3 nights a week, I go to the gym Sun-Fri and I am probably stronger than I haven been in my life. The other day some guy training at the gym asked if he could switch off with me on the bench press and I said sure. When I went to max out he told me I could do more than I thought my max was and he was right. I somehow managed to put up 75kgs twice and I am extremely sore today. Today I did shoulders and triceps. And I played badmintion for about 2 hrs for aerobic-isms. I am sore all over. I drink soy protein shakes everyday and I try to take one meal at the food center near my place where I just order some dish and give them a brick of tofu to throw in it so I can get the protein. It seems to be working.
I changed my routine lately. Before I did Day 1: Chest/biceps - Day 2: shoulders/back - Day 3: \triceps/legs
It worked well for quite a while, but I've devised something more efficient.
My new regime gives me 2 days rest for chest and has me alternating tri/bi-ceps each day. Aside from that I do legs, shoulders and back 1-2 times/wk, chest 2-3 times, triceps 2-3 and biceps 2-3. It seems to be working really well but its hard to measure my progress.
I play badminton 3 nights a week, I go to the gym Sun-Fri and I am probably stronger than I haven been in my life. The other day some guy training at the gym asked if he could switch off with me on the bench press and I said sure. When I went to max out he told me I could do more than I thought my max was and he was right. I somehow managed to put up 75kgs twice and I am extremely sore today. Today I did shoulders and triceps. And I played badmintion for about 2 hrs for aerobic-isms. I am sore all over. I drink soy protein shakes everyday and I try to take one meal at the food center near my place where I just order some dish and give them a brick of tofu to throw in it so I can get the protein. It seems to be working.
I changed my routine lately. Before I did Day 1: Chest/biceps - Day 2: shoulders/back - Day 3: \triceps/legs
It worked well for quite a while, but I've devised something more efficient.
My new regime gives me 2 days rest for chest and has me alternating tri/bi-ceps each day. Aside from that I do legs, shoulders and back 1-2 times/wk, chest 2-3 times, triceps 2-3 and biceps 2-3. It seems to be working really well but its hard to measure my progress.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Punk Rain
I am a crazy guy. I suppose this isn't news to anyone reading this. Its certainly not to me. I really wish I had a bit more control over my emotions. I broke up with Ann (previous gf) on Valentine's day. It actually went well. After I told her, I said lets go get drunk together one last time. So we went out and got wrecked and had some final physical-ness stuffs. Basically, I told her that she is a good girl, but as she already knows and isn't willing to admit, I am just not capable of giving her the attention that she requires. I need lots of alone time and I am not very outspoken in my appreciation of or my cares for people. I blame this at least partially on my screwed up childhood where rather then teach (explain to) me why we have to send thank you cards and be so polite my parents just thought it a acceptable to force me to do such things ("Because I said so!") which of course makes a child question and rebel against such a concept. So even now such situations are extremely uncomfortable for me. Its not that I'm not thankful. I just have an anxiety attack if I think I am expected to express thanks for it.
Anyways, the reason I sometimes need to distance myself from people who have grown to close is because I begin to despise them. I can become enraged over relatively trivial things. Because I am aware of these things I try to shoo away anyone I am unable to avoid. This is because I realize I just need a few increments of time to get over whatever I am preparing to blow up on. Some of the things that trigger this murderous rage inside me are obvious as I remember feeling them as I was growing up, however, many come about rather unexpectedly and even though I feel part of me is urging to kill the nearest offender, I also at the same time am completely aware of how ridiculous these feelings are, but the only way I am able to avoid taking it out on the "offender" is to get away from them (everyone?). This is usually not a big deal with friends, but girlfriends are a bit more tricky. I've tried to explain this to my previous Thai girlfriends but they just don't get it. Its just a different kind of ignorance.
Moving along... while I was hoping to be single for a while, I am no longer sure if thats a possibility. While I am feeling rather invincible on and off lately I am still hesitant. I got a few numbers last Thursday. The situation with the girl in question was rather unusual.
She is a punk. More on this soon.
Anyways, the reason I sometimes need to distance myself from people who have grown to close is because I begin to despise them. I can become enraged over relatively trivial things. Because I am aware of these things I try to shoo away anyone I am unable to avoid. This is because I realize I just need a few increments of time to get over whatever I am preparing to blow up on. Some of the things that trigger this murderous rage inside me are obvious as I remember feeling them as I was growing up, however, many come about rather unexpectedly and even though I feel part of me is urging to kill the nearest offender, I also at the same time am completely aware of how ridiculous these feelings are, but the only way I am able to avoid taking it out on the "offender" is to get away from them (everyone?). This is usually not a big deal with friends, but girlfriends are a bit more tricky. I've tried to explain this to my previous Thai girlfriends but they just don't get it. Its just a different kind of ignorance.
Moving along... while I was hoping to be single for a while, I am no longer sure if thats a possibility. While I am feeling rather invincible on and off lately I am still hesitant. I got a few numbers last Thursday. The situation with the girl in question was rather unusual.
She is a punk. More on this soon.
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