I Like Fruit - Cool Jobs

I'm suffering from a rather severe anxiety attack at the moment. Its been going on for the past 25 minutes or so. Its fading, but its still making it difficult for me to work on all these assignments I am trying to do today. My heart is beating very quickly, and I'm shaking a little bit. When I tell this story, I will say that it was caused by an apple, but really its more about the seratonin problems in my brain. Don't worry, that will make sense shortly.

Moving along, I go eat at this restaurant about 3 times a week that is very close to my house. The food there isn't really that great as far as Thailand goes and it is overpriced. However, I really dig the atmosphere there and so I go often. Its the only place I seem to be able to do any writing that doesn't involve drinking to allow myself to focus. I can't actually focus on anything for more than a minute or two, so I need lots of distractions to get anything done. Sometimes, I will study one language for a minute or two, then work on a paper, then switch to another language, back to the paper, then maybe a third language. Its the only way I can get anything done.

Recently, in this particular restaurant where I do most of my studying and homework, an extremely cute girl began working there. I wanted to talk to her for a long time, because she was always smiling and seemed really friendly, but I couldn't do it. Then one day, I just started talking to her. But I never asked for the number. I finally managed to ask for the number today. She hadn't been at work for a few days, and I thought she quit or something and I missed my opportunity. So since I saw her today, I realized I had to get the number. I asked her where she had been the past few days, as I hadn't seen her. So I said "เราสนใจรู้จักกัน ชอเบอร์ได้ไหม" which translates to something along the lines of "I want to know you, can I ask for your number?" And she said yes of course. They pretty much always do. I think I've only heard no twice in my three years here.

During this conversation the anxiety attack started. And it lasted up until about mid-way through the last paragraph or so. Thats about 40 minutes of anxiety. It sucks. Oh and her name is Apple.

As for cool jobs, I got one now and maybe more soon. I teach a varying number of 7 year old boys 10 hours a week now. When I say 'teach', I of course mean that a varying number of boys climb all over me for 2 hours 5 days a week. I literally have to tackle them to make them read stuff or answer questions. They are insane. But its fun.

I got a phone call today for a bi-weekly job that would involve me spending 3 hours with 3 people (presumably Thai). The interesting part is that we would go on outings for this. Shooting club, ATV racing, mini-golf, movies, etc. It pays fairly well and it sounds pretty cool, so I'll take it if the schedule works for me.

The other job is organizing an English camp for 150 kids. I wrote up a propsal schedule and I think they like that, but they didn't offer me enough money so I counter-offered and I'm still waiting to hear back. I probably won't get this one. I asked for a lot, because it would be a lot of work and my studies would suffer. But I really could use the money.

Nothing Interesting Today

A number of crazy things have happened to me lately. Last weekend I threw a guy into a table and came mighty close to getting into a brawl. I also managed to get about 10 phone numbers from various girls. But I'm feeling lazy to go into those stories so I won't.

Last night, I went to Glass Onion with Wad and Gateaux for some wine and some whining. Its really interesting how much of my day is spent complaining or listening to someone else complain. I kind of like it actually. The biggest stressors in our lives here are trivial in comparison to the troubles I had in the states.

After Glass Onion, I headed over to meet two Chinese girls, Wei Ni and Gina, with whom I used to hang out a lot, but that kind of died out after a while. I never figured out why. Anyways, I was rather angry to find out that they called me just to ask me some dirt on this guy who recently began studying at my uni. That ended kind of badly for her when I told her to just call him and ask him rather than me. I barely know the guy. She went off to call him and came back crying and wanted to leave.

I have no classes next week so I hopefully can get some of my mid-term papers started. I gotta write a 8 minute informative speech, an article about a speech on women's rights that I am going to attend on Thursday and I have one exam on Monday.

The other day I gave a short introductory speech in my speech writing class and I felt no anxiety at all. This has never happened before. I had taken my usual 100mg of Zoloft late the day before, and I had only took 50mg the morning of the speech so I'm curious as to if 150mg is the magic number for me. Its a bit too expensive so I will just try it next time I need to do something that causes me anxiety.

Gift's Birthday Party - I don't trust that smile one bit.