Depressing Shit

The gym girl Nut has me all depressed. I was sitting at my usual spot because I have to translate this one page and I have tons of Korean homework and I wanted to study a little bit. I saw her walk out with this Australian guy who also goes to the gym and is nice enough but kind of annoying as he is always asking/interrupting my work- out to ask me Thai questions.

My mood just sunk into pretty heavy depression so I took an extra zoloft hoping to stave it off, but I couldn't do anymore work/studying so I went home and had a beer and watched the latest Heroes episode hoping that would distract me enough. It didn't really so I pressed the rounded edge of toenail clippers deep into the flesh between my fingers and eventually the inside of my elbow to get my mind out of that state. I haven't done that in a long time, but it helps. Even as that mode kicks in I know I will get over it and I know I'm freaking out over something thats probably nothing, but whether I am so conditioned to react to that kind of situation or if the seratonin levels in me are just so screwed up I couldn't say, but my little strategies do manage to at least reduce the potential for me to kill myself/someone else. Neither is even remotely likely, but they arise very strongly for a few moments until I can stop them.

Meanwhile, Ann (the sorda x-gf) keeps coming around and though its Valentine's Day, sometimes I really want to finish with her for good. I don't know how to do it and I don't know if I can do it today, but I am not sure if I can be in this relationship anymore. I just want to be alone for a few days and then possibly go out again for a couple weeks to get my self-esteem back to where it was a couple of weeks ago. I think I know how to do it now anyways.

Million-baht-aire

I started the new job yesterday. I got there 5 minutes late. There was this huge parade in the city that I didn't know about and we actually had to invade the parade and go at its pace for a while before I had to jump off the bike and clear a path so we could get off of the road on the moat much to the chagrin of the locals. It took nearly an hour to get to the mall that is about 12 minutes away.

My "class" consists of one 6 yr old boy who speaks pretty much no English. He can respond to a few basic questions and knows the typical transliterated into Thai pronunciation of some English words, but he can't really spell much and I wasn't really sure where to begin. The main problem is that I will only see him once a week and its a 2 hour class! That is too long for anybody, especially a little kid. More likely we will be studying for 20-30 min at best and playing for an hour and a half. As I am salaried, until the school finds more people and therefore more classes, I am making 3,125 Baht/hour (around US$90ish) . And I just work Saturdays. This is a completely unheard of wage for esl teachers in Thailand, or anywhere for that matter. The cost of living here is very low, so that actually covers all of my bills and then some. Good-tastic.

Я иду в Россию? Действительно ли она - тот?

There is a chance I might be going to work in Russia for a bit this summer. Well, if the money offered is enough. The CEO of the pda/mobile software company that I do freelance work for (translation, brochure writing, web site checking, etc) wants to send me there for a month to teach English to the team of translators a couple hours a day and spend some time checking over (Read: rewrite) ads, web sites and the like. Could be interesting, but it would have to be a lot of money for me to give up the new 25,000/month job that I'm starting tomorrow. I'd need to touch up my Russian a bit as I can't remember much at all. Fun stuff indeed.

Got trashed at a little Korean jam last night at my teacher's place. Her and 3 other Koreans were there and we had lots of Korean food, beer and wine. I got a few calls from the gym girl so after the party I went to hang out with her for a bit, but I'm almost ready to give up on her. While I was considering her as a potential girlfriend, I'm starting to wonder if she has any real interest in me. Sometimes it seems like it, but I'm just not sure.

Regina Girls College

This is the end of my 2nd week teaching at this school. There has yet to be one day where all the classes went according to the schedule. My first class today was supposed to start at 10:20. I just came back from the room to find nobody there. I really hope I get paid for all of these hours that I was supposed to teach, but there was some other event or test going on that nobody bothered to inform me of.

One more week of this nonsense and then I'm free. This is a good thing as I don't function very well on this type of sleep schedule. No word yet on when/if I am supposed to start that new job. If I don't hear anything by tomorrow, I will call the guy again and find out whats up.