Landing my attempted backflip on Jeff's B-day.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Windows
Something is severely wrong with me lately. I've missed classes, been unable to get myself to do even simple homework. I can't focus on anything for more than a few seconds before I begin spacing out. I occasionally have windows where my brain functions relatively normally for a time (if you can call my brain normal anyways).
Yesterday was Jeff's birthday so I pulled myself from another night of trying-to-write-but-not-making-any-progress to go over his place for a bit. I got pretty drunk and was feeling pretty energetic so I decided it would be a good idea to see if I could do a backflip. This is something I haven't attempted in a number of years. I used to be able to do one, but I wasn't very good at it. I did pull off some funny somersaults and some sort of twisting flip move. I also managed to tear a ligament in my left leg and its quite painful. Fun stuff. There are pictures of this. I haven't seen them yet, but depending on how embarrasing they are, I may post them when I get them.
As for women troubles, I don't seem to actually have any. I still see both Anns oddly enough, but I kind of want something new.
I moved my Zoloft intake back to 100mg. I had been taking 50 for a while to save money, but I figured I'd see if it would help me out of this rut.
The only good thing of late is my kanji progress. I now am fairly capable of writing about 850 kanji using Heisig's method. Really good stuff.
Yesterday was Jeff's birthday so I pulled myself from another night of trying-to-write-but-not-making-any-progress to go over his place for a bit. I got pretty drunk and was feeling pretty energetic so I decided it would be a good idea to see if I could do a backflip. This is something I haven't attempted in a number of years. I used to be able to do one, but I wasn't very good at it. I did pull off some funny somersaults and some sort of twisting flip move. I also managed to tear a ligament in my left leg and its quite painful. Fun stuff. There are pictures of this. I haven't seen them yet, but depending on how embarrasing they are, I may post them when I get them.
As for women troubles, I don't seem to actually have any. I still see both Anns oddly enough, but I kind of want something new.
I moved my Zoloft intake back to 100mg. I had been taking 50 for a while to save money, but I figured I'd see if it would help me out of this rut.
The only good thing of late is my kanji progress. I now am fairly capable of writing about 850 kanji using Heisig's method. Really good stuff.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Unproductive Silliness
I have been feeling pretty strange lately. I'm finding myself unable to do anything productive in regards to my uni. I need to write a couple papers two of which are due this week and I haven't even started. I've tried to sit down a number of times and have come up with very little. Just now in fact, I have spent an hour and a half researching Korean labour laws for a presentation I have to give on Thursday and I have yet to find one specific case study. I even did it at an internet shop assuming it was my room that was causing me to be lazy or something. Apparantly not. I can sit and study language stuff no problem, but I can't seem to jumpstart anything with schoolwork. Crazy stuff. Why does this crap happen to me?
The other presentation is actually a lesson, or part of one anyways, for my Instructional Skilsl class. I have to write a short paper citing some of the stuff we have read which is all language-teaching theory. Everyone else is most likely going to teach an English lesson, as all the examples are English, so I figured I'd do something different. I'm going to teach a lesson in Korean. Should be interesting.
Oh, and to make things worse, the current junta that has taken over Thailand recently has decided to implement a ban on advertising alcohol. And they want to raise the drinking age to 25 (from 18!). I can't even fathom the fallout that will result in the nightlife community if this really comes about. And what will become of all those attractive young girls who work for all the alcohol companies wearing tight appropriately logo'd outfits who pour my drinks (they essentially serve as backup staff in rest/pubs/clubs working directly for the distributor rather than the place they are working at)? How will they continue to support their education? Who will pour my beer? They hold a special place in my heart indeed.
The other presentation is actually a lesson, or part of one anyways, for my Instructional Skilsl class. I have to write a short paper citing some of the stuff we have read which is all language-teaching theory. Everyone else is most likely going to teach an English lesson, as all the examples are English, so I figured I'd do something different. I'm going to teach a lesson in Korean. Should be interesting.
Oh, and to make things worse, the current junta that has taken over Thailand recently has decided to implement a ban on advertising alcohol. And they want to raise the drinking age to 25 (from 18!). I can't even fathom the fallout that will result in the nightlife community if this really comes about. And what will become of all those attractive young girls who work for all the alcohol companies wearing tight appropriately logo'd outfits who pour my drinks (they essentially serve as backup staff in rest/pubs/clubs working directly for the distributor rather than the place they are working at)? How will they continue to support their education? Who will pour my beer? They hold a special place in my heart indeed.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Update
So I am feeling pretty good. I feel a little sad that I probably can't see the 1st Ann anymore. I like/care about her a lot and would like to maintain some type of relationship with her, but I realize that this isn't likely. On Wednesday, we had our final encounter. Keep in mind, this is after she walked in on me with the other girl and also after she broke up with me (as far as I thought anyways). We went out to this new spot across from Warm Up (the usual spot) which has some rather absurd promotional specials at the moment. We tore up a bottle of whiskey between the two of us and although there was some arguing, it was mostly playful. It was surreal. She was really sad and plans to leave the city for a while. This doesn't make me feel good at all and I will reiniate contact the day before she plans to leave to tell her not to leave because of me. I really do miss her, but I don't feel the pain normally associated with such feelings. I suspect its because she broke up with me before a few times and I suffered the hurt and have since become immune to it, but I'm not sure. I don't really feel anything at the moment actually.
As for the new girl, I do sense some darkness in her and I will try to be wary. I don't really want anything serious with her, but I'm still unsure about our situation. I'm just going to let things play out for now.
As for the new girl, I do sense some darkness in her and I will try to be wary. I don't really want anything serious with her, but I'm still unsure about our situation. I'm just going to let things play out for now.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Clash of the TitAnns
Whoops. I'm not sure if I truly erred or not, but this is a story that needs to be told. If only to confirm that the silliness of the happenings within my life are real and usually unbelievable. Be forewarned that the following story does involve sex, though I won't be too graphic in its telling.
Anyways, first I suppose I have to give a bit of background on the situation. I have been in an on/off relationship with one particular girl at varying levels for a fairly long time as of late. I met her about 7 months ago, and she somehow (without my realizing) became my girlfriend. It was a strange relationship, as all of mine tend to be, and although she was fun and I liked her a lot, she didn't communicate enough with me for anything long-term to come of it. She had finished with me before and stormed off with promises never to return, but she always came back. But in the beginning I was pretty depressed after her departure. But after the 2nd time, I honestly didn't feel anything anymore when she pulled that move. So the other day we had a bit of an argument and she removed all of her belongings from my room and gave back the keycard to my building and then gave me my presumably final ride to school. I felt ok with the situation actually. I never really wanted a girlfriend in the first place. I am pretty incompetent at making and breaking relationships after all. I had mixed feelings. One part of me considers the wonders of being single while the other suffers a deeper hurt at something lost. So a few days ago when she took everything out, I assumed myself to be single. I moved things up with a potential girl from my uni.
More details are necessary at this point. First, both the (ex??)gf and the new girl are named Ann. I'm more concerned with the now in my life. So, Ann #1 ran out on me a couple of days ago. Her friend, however, needed some Thai to Eng translation help for school and convinced Ann #1 to call me for help. I said sure and when I met them, Ann #1 spoke about 3 words to me while her friend did all of the talking. She looked so sad. It made me feel pretty horrible so I called her a few hours later and suggested we go out drinking and talk. We went out and got trashed, had a great time and slept together. But before that, I said that we could maintain a relationship, but that it would have to be different than before. She slept over and took me to school yesterday.
Fast forward again: After my exam on Monday, I spent the day with Ann #2 (a girl who studies at my uni) whom I had been 'talking' to lately. That culminated in her staying over. Eventually, this led to sex. During the sex, I got a phone call from Ann #1. She asked if she could come stay with me. I said that she couldn't. She asked "Why? You have someone else there?" I replied truthfully as always. The sex went on for quite a while, until a knock came at the door. I was on my back on the bed with my head hanging off of it. We froze. The noise from moments ago was obviously very loud and whomever was outside my door ( I knew whom it would be of course) would know as well. But we froze anyways. The knock came again. Then the worst - I didn't actually think I would be staying in my room when we entered earlier (I was really just dropping off my bag..) so I didn't do the one thing I always do as I enter/exit my room - lock my door. So the door swung open and there I was lying on my back on my bed with my head hanging off looking at my gf of 2 days prior while I am naked under the 'new' girl who was feeling not nearly as sympathetic as I was.
The door opened - we were exposed, then it closed. A moment later, the knock came again. I threw on some boxers and went outside to talk to her. She asked me why I didn't warn her. I thought I did. She had called me earlier and I said she couldn't stay with me because 'someone' was over. I think she came for confirmation. It was my own deserving folly that I for the first time ever didn't lock the door and therefore spare her the sight of my encounter. I spent a while in the hallway with her. She seemed a little stunned, but not really. I don't see how she couldn't have known beforehand. But at the same time, I feel ashamed that she had to see it. She deserves better.
The problem now is - what should I do? I do really enjoy the debauchery I get into when I'm single and I will eventually (presumably anyways) reach an age where I can't/wont want to do this anymore. So I might as well take advantage of it while I can. Right?
Anyways, first I suppose I have to give a bit of background on the situation. I have been in an on/off relationship with one particular girl at varying levels for a fairly long time as of late. I met her about 7 months ago, and she somehow (without my realizing) became my girlfriend. It was a strange relationship, as all of mine tend to be, and although she was fun and I liked her a lot, she didn't communicate enough with me for anything long-term to come of it. She had finished with me before and stormed off with promises never to return, but she always came back. But in the beginning I was pretty depressed after her departure. But after the 2nd time, I honestly didn't feel anything anymore when she pulled that move. So the other day we had a bit of an argument and she removed all of her belongings from my room and gave back the keycard to my building and then gave me my presumably final ride to school. I felt ok with the situation actually. I never really wanted a girlfriend in the first place. I am pretty incompetent at making and breaking relationships after all. I had mixed feelings. One part of me considers the wonders of being single while the other suffers a deeper hurt at something lost. So a few days ago when she took everything out, I assumed myself to be single. I moved things up with a potential girl from my uni.
More details are necessary at this point. First, both the (ex??)gf and the new girl are named Ann. I'm more concerned with the now in my life. So, Ann #1 ran out on me a couple of days ago. Her friend, however, needed some Thai to Eng translation help for school and convinced Ann #1 to call me for help. I said sure and when I met them, Ann #1 spoke about 3 words to me while her friend did all of the talking. She looked so sad. It made me feel pretty horrible so I called her a few hours later and suggested we go out drinking and talk. We went out and got trashed, had a great time and slept together. But before that, I said that we could maintain a relationship, but that it would have to be different than before. She slept over and took me to school yesterday.
Fast forward again: After my exam on Monday, I spent the day with Ann #2 (a girl who studies at my uni) whom I had been 'talking' to lately. That culminated in her staying over. Eventually, this led to sex. During the sex, I got a phone call from Ann #1. She asked if she could come stay with me. I said that she couldn't. She asked "Why? You have someone else there?" I replied truthfully as always. The sex went on for quite a while, until a knock came at the door. I was on my back on the bed with my head hanging off of it. We froze. The noise from moments ago was obviously very loud and whomever was outside my door ( I knew whom it would be of course) would know as well. But we froze anyways. The knock came again. Then the worst - I didn't actually think I would be staying in my room when we entered earlier (I was really just dropping off my bag..) so I didn't do the one thing I always do as I enter/exit my room - lock my door. So the door swung open and there I was lying on my back on my bed with my head hanging off looking at my gf of 2 days prior while I am naked under the 'new' girl who was feeling not nearly as sympathetic as I was.
The door opened - we were exposed, then it closed. A moment later, the knock came again. I threw on some boxers and went outside to talk to her. She asked me why I didn't warn her. I thought I did. She had called me earlier and I said she couldn't stay with me because 'someone' was over. I think she came for confirmation. It was my own deserving folly that I for the first time ever didn't lock the door and therefore spare her the sight of my encounter. I spent a while in the hallway with her. She seemed a little stunned, but not really. I don't see how she couldn't have known beforehand. But at the same time, I feel ashamed that she had to see it. She deserves better.
The problem now is - what should I do? I do really enjoy the debauchery I get into when I'm single and I will eventually (presumably anyways) reach an age where I can't/wont want to do this anymore. So I might as well take advantage of it while I can. Right?
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