Sinful and Deadly

Are the Seven Deadly Sins equally bad? Can it be said that perhaps some are more "Deadly" than the others? Throughout history, the Church has often organized and reorganized the ranking of the Sins. While I have certainly encountered them all in my life, perhaps the two most pervasive have been Gluttony and Lust, the two that are usually found to be the least "Deadly".

As a severely messed up kid I gained a lot of weight at the age of eleven. Being relatively independent at this point, I was usually responsible for my own meals. I had no sense of portion size so I would often end up cooking far more than necessary. I could eat entire pizzas or consume ten bowls of soup in a "meal". Prolonging the sensation of taste as long as possible, I would eat until full and then if I had nothing else to do, would wait until later to finish whatever I had cooked/bought as soon as my stomach had room for more.

Growing up in a society where overeating is often encouraged causes me much stress to this day. One of the things that always enrage me about visiting my various extended family in the US is that in meeting with them, I'm expected to participate in these ridiculous rituals of stuffing oneself in the company of family. With me having been a vegan for nearly ten years and my family still not truly understanding what that entails, it is needless to say that I often dread the meals more than the expected family quarrels or their ignorance concerning the world outside their own. By not eating most of what is made and causing a supposedly even greater offence by not being physically capable of gorging myself in their presence for the purpose of being polite, I'm am always made to feel awkward and uncomfortable.

It is a daily battle for me to not eat everything in front of me (as long as its vegan) and hence avoid falling into a pit of gluttony. Or perhaps it is more accurate to say that it is a battle against finding myself in situations where there is a lot of food in front of me to begin with. I am able to stay thin in this portion of my life by eating very healthy and exercising regularly. And I suppose from living far away from the US.

It is here, living far from the US that brings us to my next oft-encountered Sin. As a Caucasian male with two arms and two legs living in Thailand, I can easily participate in a rather hedonistic lifestyle with little or no effort. In fact, it often takes a mountain of effort to avoid those self-indulgent cravings.

Whether it's a form of exoticism, or physical attraction or the slew of slightly less pleasant possibilities, for me, finding a girlfriend, lover or otherwise in Thailand is far from difficult. In contrast to my strict veganism, whereas the act of someone attempting to be amusing might shove meat or some other animal-derived product in my face is certainly disgusting, when an attractive girl of my acquaintance attempts something relatively similar which tests my faithfulness to my girlfriend, I'm far from revolted.

Things such as these worry me often. Both involve strong willpower that is tested often. Where as I must fight off urges of Gluttony multiple times per day, I only need deal with the potentially more serious cravings of Lust a few times a week. However you look at it, life is a battle. You can be firm in your mettle and attempt to maintain some semblance of morality, or you can sink into a life of sensuality and gratification. If only I wasn't forced to choose anew each day, it would be much easier.