Life

I'm ok. Perhaps better than that, but I'm not sure. I have been feeling a bit empty lately. Devoid of emotion, but always on the brink of something heavy. As I previously mentioned, I broke up with Ann on Valentine's Day. As false as it may sound I did it more for her than for me. As hard as she tried, she couldn't put up with my faults. She wasn't perfect either, but she tried harder than I ever could. I just don't know how to have a serious relationship with a girl. Its kind of ironic; if I care/like someone too much, I will inevitably drive them away one way or another, however, if I like them on some lesser, but saner-level, the relationship tends to work. There has only been 1.5-2 times in my life when I pursued and got what I really 'wanted.' While those relationships worked for a while, they didn't last. I miss Ann, but I suppose I miss every person I cared about. It doesn't pass, rather it stays with you and usually becomes weaker over time.

I think I am probably done with the punk girl, she is nice enough, but she has annoyed me a few times and I'm leaning towards the 'friend is better' path with her.

Meanwhile, the gym girl is currently in a car on her way home. She is back together with the old boyfriend and they are going back to their hometown to resume their previous life because her mom was lonely. I really dug her for a while. She is a cool girl and her boyfriend is nice enough but she deserves better. Much better than me as well I suppose, but I can still like her, right?

On happier notes, 2 nights ago the gym girl sent me an sms saying she was at this club if I wanted to go. So I went there to discover it was her the ex-nonex? boyfriend and another guy. So I mainly talked to her and drank their whiskey than when it closed at midnight, I went with the other guy to a late-night spot assuming the gym-girl and bf were coming. We got there and were not there long before I attacked a table full of girls. I got a # from the best one and then I went home to sleep. I waited a day before calling her tonight. She was pleasantly surprised and she remembered me the first time I said my name. This is probably the first time such a thing has happened in my life in Thailand. I always have to explain the situation for them to realize who I am. Anyways, this girl is in the middle of finals, but she is certainly interested and she seems cool so far. We'll see what happens. More on this later.

I would write more often but this blogserver is awful. I can't log into it most of the time so I can't get in to write when I have things to say.