I can't stand the smoke! It is bad enough that I'm forced to inhale all the diesel fumes from the vehicles here, but I really hate smoke. All day yesterday and my sinuses and lungs are all mucked up. It is hard for me to breathe, and I feel like crap. Why must I be subjected to this crap. Argh. I took a girl out that I met in Bangkok in October 2003 and at the first place we went to she said "Do you mind if I smoke." I said "I hate smoke, it makes me sick." Then she laughed and lit up. Why do people ask? Now you see I smoked for seven years and for most of that time I enjoyed it. And of course I thought people who complained about it (as I do now) were just annoying fools. Ah well. Perhaps it serves me right? Bullshit. I get so angry sometimes. People just don't get it. It's just a joke to them that smoking makes me ill. On days like today I wake up and cough up all kinds of yellow garbage. Its not pleasant.
Ok that was my first rant of the day. Lets try another:
My sorta-semi-(ex?)-girlfriend (what!?!) as I mentioned yesterday wrote me a goodbye letter. I sent her a text message that her complaints that I don't give her enough time are fairly valid, but the way she lets me know this are not very efficient. And if you know me, you know I like efficiency! She is dodgy and I feel like she is always trying to make me feel guilty. I just want to be single. I think I will end it for sure! I don't know how to dump people though. I don't like to make people feel bad. I think I can make it out because this time she pissed me off. Anger is a great thing if you have some control over it; when I am angry my anxiety goes away and I always feel better afterwards. Also, after any big event where I get extremely angry, I become very efficient and productive for a while. I also think more clearly, have more fun, and am just generally more pleasant to be around. I've theorized in the past that my general mood changes on a cycle. While I originally suspected it had to do with time, I have come to believe that certain events happen in/around my life that triggers the next stage. Am I sounding too insane? Mwahahaha. Erm sorry. Anyways, I'll stop there as if it doesn't sound too crazy it certainly will after I get deeper into it.
Tonight I'm going to the Sunday walking market to meet the super-ninja-hot girl I met the other night. At least she was s-n-h through the haze of inebriation I experienced when I saw her. Hopefully she will look as good when I'm sober. Of course I kind of already had a plan to take this other girl to the Sunday market that I went out with last night, but I'll figure out how to sort that out later! No worries.
I watched Suspect Zero. It was about a serial killer with no discernable pattern. Doesn't serial mean "arranged in a series"? Ok the movie was certainly watchable, but not terribly creative. Some of the imagery and the scenes were nicely done. And Ben Kingsley (I think thats his name) is really a great actor.
School starts tomorrow! I'm not registered of course, but I will go sit in on some classes. At least it will get me back into waking up early and not drinking so much or being exposed to too much second-hand smoke.
Perhaps you notice I have a lot of energy today. I will use it to do a quick lesson or two.
I want to give a few examples of the causitive form in Japanese.
武レットは私を困らせた。 Buretto wa watashi ni komaraseta. Brett caused me trouble.
友達は私にチップを払わせた。Tomodachi wa watashi ni chippu o harawaseta. My friend made me leave a tip.
私にさせてください. watashi ni sasete kudasai. Please let me do (it).
Some new vocab
に対して - ni taishite - toward, to, in contrast to, whereas, in regard to (this is one of those tough ambiguous words where the context is key to understanding its usage in that situation)
最近イタリアではタバコに対しての考え方が大分変わってきた。 Saikin itaria dewa tabako ni taishite no kangaekata ga daibu kawattekita. Recently in Italy, attitudes towards smoking have changed greatly.
私は政治に対してあまり強くない関心がない。 watashi ha seiji ni taishite tsuyokunai kanshin ga nai. I am not very interested in politics.
おそうしき － funeral
กวนตีน/ทะลึง - cheeky (not a word I ever use in English, but somebody called me กวนตีน yesterday and I didn't know what it meant! Bah.)
อาณาจักร - kingdom
Whew. Thats all for now!
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2 comments:
you cough up yellow? You're lucky, I usually cough and sneeze grayish black.
As for girly, it's worse to wait it out, and if she's acting like that, there's nothing you can do but say goodbye or suck it up. It'll only get worse, for the both of you. If she can't just be friends with you, it's her loss. Of having the coolest, most handsome, interesting guy for a friend.
I have re-read your post about ur relationship, and I think you already know what you want to do. You just lack the courage (maybe because she has been your security all these years!!)
how is easy - you just tell her and go.
Try and stay calm and civil, and be prepared for ridiculous promises (like she has already used on you) so you can practise deflecting them
find a mantra and keep repeating it to yourself (eg - I deserve better than this...)
good luck
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